There
by Kronin Wanderforth


There in the darkness
I reached for you
and missed
we two alone
different sides of the same personality
a person only we together could become
a vision of perfection
Lost
Together we were one
Better than each seperate half
and I saw that image
Seconds
         before it shattered in the darkness

Only you could understand my anger
And I became angry so you would understand me.

How could two people be so different
and yet the same?

Together in the emptyness of life
                          our dreams
                          our loss
         the treasure of
                          our tears
refracting light
making a million 
                   tiny
                   perfect
             rainbows in your
                   eyes

better than dreams
            reality
            drugs

happy in the truth that was your love for me
      in the lie that was my love for you

And in the end that lie
                    shattered the reality
into the illusion

Drew pictures of white on black
                 black on black

I blinked my tears away
and saw your head shatter into a million pieces

"I don't understand you.  You say you don't trust 
me and yet you make love to me."

How was I to know that I was short of my expectations?

I took a breath sure that I would explode
Felt the night air on my skin
Focused on a distant star and saw my future there

I named her happy
And for the first time
in a long time I
                 smiled

Three words
     I love you
from a name an ocean away
What is an ocean?

Perhaps there, a galaxy away orbiting a star which
seems so tiny here

lives the one

The one who knows how to say I love you
without the words
the uncertainty
the nervousness

without conditions

to make me happy
always

And would it be so wrong of me to hope he stayed there?
To leave me here in my own unsteady emotions
Dancing the dance of the mad
Drawing pictures of pain in my skin

To find the one, here
who is not perfect
Except to become perfect when blended with my own imperfections

The one who loves me only for what I am
and not in spite of it.
Who wouldn't have me any other way.

For to love without conditions
is to love without seeing the one you love

So here I lie alone in the darkness

A piece of hand
         a piece of knee
One eye

I pull myself together
Open my eyes
        receive the light
see the shapes

Open my heart
        receive the love
see the colors